When you think big, big things can happen. But only if you have the courage to take action to make them happen.
In this episode I talk about two big things that happened to me recently; how they required me to tap into my courage; and I share one thing you can do to build the courage to take action and do the damn thing.
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But the one thing I'm going to share with you on today's episode, is this. The thing that helped me to go ahead and deliver the talk this week. That helps me go ahead and agree and record the masterclass for the course. Was this. I tied the action to something greater than myself. I tied it to my mission, I tied it to my purpose. So, if there was no greater reason for doing the thing that I did, I wouldn't have done it. Because why would I willingly endure fear and endure discomfort just for the sake of it.Rafa:
You're listening to, The Triple C Project,Ryan Spence:
Welcome to The Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity boost confidence, and build courage so you can live life lit! I'm your host, Ryan Spence. Life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you don't want. and ready to start living the life you do want. This podcast will help you get from where you are, to where you really wanna be. So now we're friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living, a life that's lit!. What's up what's up? Welcome to Episode 13 of The Triple C project. And before we start, I've got a little favour to ask. Last week, I mentioned that I booked a studio to record the audio book of my book, The Triple C Method. And I'm very excited about doing that, as I think I said, and what I need your help with is this. So for the audiobook, I'm thinking about sticking in some additional information and additional chapter. And I'd love to hear from you what you would like that chapter to be about. So do you want me to talk about what it's been like since the release of the book? Do you want to know more about the process of writing the book? Do you want to know a bit more about the well being habits that I had to implement to help me build my clarity, confidence and courage? Or do you want to hear about something else? I'm really keen to add some bonus info into the into the audiobook. I always like when people do that. And also because there's now time, I mean writing the book, you're trying to get to a deadline trying to get it out and fit in with other people. With the audiobook, there's a little bit more flexibility. So as I think about this over the next couple of weeks, I would love to include information that is valuable to you. So if you've read the book, in particular, what in the book would you like to me to expand on? What would you like to know a little bit more about? Drop me a line. Send me a DM on Instagram @iam_ryanspence or shoot me an email at email@example.com. And let me know be great to hear from you. So the last week, couple of weeks really, there's a couple of big milestones for me. In a sense, they may not be big milestones for anyone else. But for me, they are pretty important. And they really required me to tap into my courage. So I thought I'd share that with you. And we dive a bit deeper into the topic of courage in this week's episode. And before I do, I'd like to sort of do a little bit of word association. So when I say the word courage, what does that mean to you? What comes up for you? And if for me, what used to happen was the word courage used to conjure up images of fairy tales as a kid, the courageous knight or the men who went off and slayed the dragon or slay or, save the damsel in distress. That was usually the context in which I had heard courage and therefore was what I associated courage with. But courage is, there's a whole spectrum of courage. I think if I was sort of asked to define it, I would look at courage, as doing something in spite of something else. So taking action in spite of feeling fear. Although, I would argue that a lot of the times we say that we feel fear, actually what we're experiencing is discomfort and the two aren't the same. But I think that's a topic for a different podcast episode. I'll make a note of that. But your courage is doing something in spite of what you feel it's de in spite of fear. So it's not an absence of fear. It's not an absence of discomfort, it's doing the thing anyway. And it's not a reckless disregard for consequences either. So, you know, I wouldn't say just jumping off a cliff cliff without a bungee rope, without a parachute is necessarily courageous, it could be, but it could just be reckless if there's no real rhyme or reason as to why you're doing that. So what happened for me in the last couple of weeks, how did I have to dive into my courage? Well, one of the things that I wanted to do more of this year is more speaking. Because I feel that in order to make the impacts that I would like to make, and to help the people who I'd like to help getting out, speaking, sharing the message, talking about the things that I discuss, in my book, talking about the journey of moving from a life of lethargy, to a life that's lit was important. It was a another way of getting the message out there. But public speaking is not something that I particularly loved. It's funny because obviously, from my time in the music, business, and being a performer, I love being on stage and performing. I still get the nerves before getting on. But once I was on there, I was in my element in my own world, and nothing really would faze me. But there's something about getting up and speaking, that it's a little bit nerve wracking and wasn't something that I naturally gravitated towards. I remember when I was back in BigLaw, and I got asked to speak at one of our regional conferences by a colleague of mine, and we were doing the talk together. And we had a lot of prep for it. And we had somebody sort of help us, but still like getting up and speaking it was I was shaking like a leaf on stage. And I thought, I'm not quite sure I really want to do this again. So why don't want to do it now? Well, I think this is the first thing I'd like to say about sort of courage. It's not going off and doing something because you feel that you should. Courage is doing something because you feel that by doing it, you're going to create the impact that you want to create. It's attaching the action that you're going to take to something bigger than yourself. So back when I was giving the talk, then there wasn't really something bigger. It was more a case of I was doing this because it was a work thing to do. But as I said earlier in the episode, the reason I wanted to talk now is because I feel that the impact of the message I have to share is bigger than any fear or discomfort that I might feel in sharing it. So by putting out there that this is what I want to do, opportunities started to present themselves. And so in the last couple of weeks, I was invited to record a masterclass on the topic of courage, funnily enough for a fellow coach of mine who was launching her programme. And it's one of those things I had an idea for for a while and being given the invitation actually made me get my ass in gear to do it. And I loved it, recorded it presented it and really pleased with the outcome and knows that maybe can be more widely available at some point in the future. But the other thing that happened actually, just this week, as I'm recording this is I was invited a while back to be a speaker at a conference, a summit for lawyers. And at the time I said yes. As he got closer, I was thinking this is actually quite nerve wracking. Because although I've talked a lot, I've done a lot of podcast interviews, Instagram lives, masterclasses recorded courses. This would be the first talk where I was actually talking live to people. It was a virtual summit, but it was actually live, it wasn't recorded. So anything that was going to happen was was going to happen. And that was fine until about an hour before and then all the usual fears and nerves and doubts sort of came in. But I did it and it was great. And I survived and it was fantastic. And so why I wanted to talk about courage a bit more today is because we all have those situations where things come up that hit us where we feel like it'd be a good idea to do but we just don't take the step we just don't take the action. So let's break down a little bit about what courage is. So we talked about the word association and the fairytales in my case and slaying the dragon. But courage doesn't necessarily have to be that bold. Courage can be having a difficult conversation with somebody that you know you need to have in order to move forward. Courage can be making that bold decision to do something that you've always wanted to do, but have been putting off. Courage can also mean going left when everyone else is going right? Doing the thing that is right for you, even if no one else can see the reasons for why you're doing it. So courage shows up in different forms, and at different levels. But without courage, we can't live a life that's lit. Because without courage, you'll forever be staying in that zone of comfort. whenever things get hard, whenever you need to put yourself out there, you will always decline you will always step back, you will always dim your light for fear of failure, for fear of what other people might say. So how do you get past that? If you're struggling to take that action? If you're struggling to have that difficult conversation? If you're struggling to make that bold decision? What actions can you take to get past that? Well, there's a few things. But the one thing I'm going to share with you on today's episode, is this. The thing that helped me to go ahead and deliver the talk this week, that helped me go ahead and agree and record the masterclass for the course was this, I tied the action to something greater than myself, I tied it to my mission, I tied it to my purpose. So if there was no greater reason for doing the thing that I did, I wouldn't have done it. Because why would I willingly endure fear and endure discomfort, just for the sake of it, you wouldn't right? There has to be a bigger goal attached to the action that you're taking to the thing that you are doing. So if you're, for example, thinking that the job that you're in just isn't the right job for you. Leaving that job is a big step. And having the courage to admit to yourself that it isn't right, then to write that letter of resignation and to actually leave is huge. And you're not just going to do that unless there's a bigger reason for doing so. So you need to explore what that bigger reason is, and then attach the actions to that bigger reason. So it may be that the current job where you're in is affecting your well being mental or physical. It could be that the job that you're currently in, isn't challenging you. It could be that the job that you're in just isn't aligning with the values, if you've done the value work and know what those values are. And once you know that, then you can look at if I make this change, what do I stand to gain? If I get out of this job and go and do something else, I stand to have more time to take care of my well being. If I go and do something else, I stand to feel more challenged, more fulfilled in my job each and every day. And that's important to me, that will make me a happier person to be around, that will have a ripple effect on the people around me. So by tying the action to something bigger, it then gives you an impetus gives you a reason to take the action to implement that courage. And the more that you take these acts of courage, the more that you take these actions, the easier it becomes to take the next action to implement courage in the next thing that you need to do. I talk about this a bit more in the book where I go into a concept that I use of courage stacking, of taking the big thing that you want to do and breaking it down. And then ranking the steps that you that you need to take from the least scary to the most scary. And keeping that linear path that tracking of what you've done so you can keep looking back and recognise what you've had to overcome to get to your current point, which then gives you sort of the evidence to help you see that you can overcome the things that are further in front of you. It's more in the book, say if you haven't read the book already, go ahead and check out the chapter where I talk about courage stacking. And I also share a courage stacking exercise in the course that accompanies the book, Triple C 101, the module three or module four, but module three of the core modules is about cultivating courage, and I share the concept of courage stacking with a worksheet in there as well. And if you're listening to this episode before the first of June 2022, if you go ahead and buy a copy of the book, The Triple C Method, and then head to iamryanspence.com/triplec, you'll find out how you can get access to Triple C 101, for free, for a limited time. So tie courage to something bigger than your self, tie the action that you want to take to something bigger than yourself. And by doing so, by tying it to your mission, by tying it to your purpose, it will help you to get right in your own mind, why you need to do the thing, why it's not an option. Because look, I can tell you, you should do these things, somebody could tell me you should go up and speak on stage, that's the way you're going to impact people. But I'm not going to willingly go ahead and do it unless I have a reason for doing it unless I can tie that action. And tie enjoying that discomfort to a bigger goal to something that's bigger than my self. So I hope this episode has helped you to get clear in your own mind what courage means for you. I hope it's helped you to see areas in your life where maybe you've lacked a little bit of courage. And as it's also that this is giving you some ideas as to how you can start to work through that, how you can start to break down that resistance and start to just implement a little bit more courage in your life each day. Because as we know, consistency beats intensity. It's those little actions that we take each day, that help build up to the bigger goal. And you'll look back and to see how far you've come if you just keep taking those little steps each and every day. So, to recap, Courage isn't an absence of fear. It's not an absence of discomfort. It's having those things, having those feelings, having those emotions, but doing the thing anyway, because you know, it has to be done. That's it for me this week. Thank you for listening. I will see you next week for another episode of The Triple C Project. And if you haven't already head to iamryanspence.com. And get hold of the confidence journal. Confidence leads to courage. So once you have the confidence to believe that you can do the thing. Courage is the next step to help you take the action to actually go ahead and do it and achieve it. So build your confidence, get the confidence journal. iamryanspence.com, and I'll acth you next week. Thanks for tuning in to The Triple C Project. If you liked the show don;t keep it to yourself. Go ahead, tell a friend and tell me too, by leaving a review. To get more tips, tools strategies to help you get from where you are, to where you really wanna be. Head to iamryanspence.com and download my free confidence journal. Don;t forget to follow me on Instagram. I'm @iam_ryanspence and you'll be the first to know about the release of my upcoming book The Triple C Method. But for now, the only thing that I have left to say is, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit!