You know you want to make a change to your situation.
But you're telling yourself that you'll change when a particular thing happens.
💲 When you've saved enough money
💲 When you get your bonus
💲 When the right thing comes along
But waiting, without knowing why you're waiting, is a surefire way to ensure things never change.
In this episode, I share the questions you need to ask yourself to ensure you retain your power and make change happen.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Want to grab yourself a free audiobook of The Triple C Method®️? All you have to do is:
⚡️get a copy of the paperback or ebook.
⚡️ leave a review on Amazon.
⚡️ screenshot your review and share it on Instagram or LinkedIn.
⚡️ Tag me!
The first five tags will get a code to access the audiobook on Authors Direct.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Links:
🚀 Get my book, The Triple C Method®️
🚀 Get the Confidence Journal - six journal prompts designed to level up your confidence.
🚀 Find out how you can work with me
Connect with me:
Support the show
Buy me a coffee
Leave a review
Stuff to Light Up Your Life
🚀 Get my book, The Triple C Method®️
🚀 Work with me
🚀 Get Triple C 101
🚀 Do yoga with me
Connect with me:
You know you want to make a change to your situation.
But you're telling yourself that you'll change when a particular thing happens.
💲 When you've saved enough money
💲 When you get your bonus
💲 When the right thing comes along
But waiting, without knowing why you're waiting, is a surefire way to ensure things never change.
In this episode, I share the questions you need to ask yourself to ensure you retain your power and make change happen.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Want to grab yourself a free audiobook of The Triple C Method®️? All you have to do is:
⚡️get a copy of the paperback or ebook.
⚡️ leave a review on Amazon.
⚡️ screenshot your review and share it on Instagram or LinkedIn.
⚡️ Tag me!
The first five tags will get a code to access the audiobook on Authors Direct.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Links:
🚀 Get my book, The Triple C Method®️
🚀 Get the Confidence Journal - six journal prompts designed to level up your confidence.
🚀 Find out how you can work with me
Connect with me:
Support the show
Buy me a coffee
Leave a review
Stuff to Light Up Your Life
🚀 Get my book, The Triple C Method®️
🚀 Work with me
🚀 Get Triple C 101
🚀 Do yoga with me
Connect with me:
There are three things which I've heard or I've said, you're in a situation. In my case, you're in biglaw, you're getting really pissed off for various reasons. It could be the politics, it could be the workload, the hours, it could be just the lack of boundaries on your part, whatever it is, but you're hanging on, you always think that it will be better next year. Or sometimes you say to yourself, you tell yourself the story that you're hanging on until a particular thing happens. So, the three things I commonly hear or have commonly said myself, Well, you gotta hold on until you've saved enough money. You're gonna hold on until you get your bonus. Or it's gonna hold on, just until the right thing comes along. But here's the thing. Whoever says that, and this was me. They never leave You're listening to The Triple C Project. Welcome to The Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gsin clarity, boost confidence, and build courage, so you can live life lit! I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the biglsw dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are, to where you really want to be. So now we're friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit! Hello, my friends, welcome to episode 22 of The Triple C Project. The great thing about doing your own thing, whether that's having your own business, writing your own book, writing your own blog, or having a podcast like this is I can do what the fuck you want. If you have an idea that comes into your head, you can just execute, there's no red tape, there's no people to run it through. There's no gatekeepers. And as someone who always has an abundance of ideas falling out of my head, it's good to be able to share them. And because not everyone will get them not every idea will land. But you get that immediate feedback and immediate data of what works. But more importantly, what you enjoy. Because you don't know you enjoy doing something until you actually do it and give it a go. I'm gonna talk a bit more in later episodes. And I think I'm sort of considering having some sort of series around the importance of showing your message and getting guests to working in that space or helping people to share their message, whether they're book coaches or podcasts, coaches, or people who help you write blogs, whatever it is. So if this is something that you're interested in, that you've been thinking of doing, just send me an email with any sort of questions that you have about sharing your message, whether it's the fear of sharing, whether it's the actual practicalities, whether it's the platform that you should choose, and that will help me sort of craft, craft the right questions and curate the right guests to help you if that's something that you think you might want to do. And a little disclaimer's in order here, I think everybody should share their message. Not everybody has to be a podcast, and everybody has to want to be on TV, and everybody has to write a book. But sharing your message is how people get to know you, people get to know what you think how people get to understand the ideas that you have, and why you have them. And it's important to just create this, this this person, this thing that you are known for, or this body of work, these experiences that you're known for. So if you're like I used to be and you're sort of scared of sharing your message with the wider world, you're gonna want to stick around throughout the rest of this year as I talk more about that and help you get your way through that. So if you have any questions, send me an email at hey@iamryanspence.com or catch me on Instagram or LinkedIn in the DMs. That's cool, too. What's been going on for me this week? A few things really, the audio book is out the audiobook of The Triple C Method. A little bit of a snag there. So I originally wanted it to be released on the 26th of July. But without going into the details. With audible it doesn't allow you to do a preorder if you don't have an exclusive distribution deal with them, which I didn't want to do so they went through the process of approving it for release and then just put it out there. So the first I knew is I went into audible and saw my book, which is quite exciting but Hey, it didn't do well for the whole lead up to pre orders, but it's out. And I'm very excited. And I'm excited for you to get it and listen to it. Even if you've actually read the book itself. I think the audio is going to the audio will be like listening to a long podcast, I guess, but in book form. So I really encourage you to go out and grab that sort of have have the message of the book in your ears, because sometimes you can hear a message once, but it's going back over and over, that's really going to solidify in your head and help you sort of gain that momentum to sort of move forward and make the decisions you need to make to live life let's and going back to what I said at the beginning about being able to do what the fuck you like when you have your own platform. To celebrate the release of the audiobook, I'm going to do this. If you leave a review of the books, if you already have the book, you've already bought the book, whether it's paperback or ebook, go to Amazon and leave a review. And then share that with you on your social media of choice. So LinkedIn or IG is where I hang out, and tag me. Okay, tag me in that. And the first five people who do that, I'm going to send you a code for a free copy of the audiobook, on author's direct. So all you got to do is pick up the book already, write a review on Amazon, take screenshot of that review, share it on IG or LinkedIn or if you don't, not on either of those, send it to me in an email, tag me if it's on social media, and I will send the file first five people that do that a code for a free audiobook. So you can listen to the audio and also read along at the same time. Because I'm genuinely like that generosity is one of my values. And I want to thank you for your support. So I will put the details of that again in the show notes in case you didn't catch it them. But yeah, you can get a copy of free copy of the audiobook, because that's how I roll. Nothing else to report this week that I think you need to know about. But I want to tell you about this week's episode. And this week's episode is really about just that. Well, you know, that process where you you say things are going to change and you're you're willing things to get better, they'll get better next week, they'll be better next year. And they never do. I'm going to talk a bit about that. And I'm going to talk about three things that people say that really are never going to get your situation to change, because nothing's going to change unless you do something about it. And these three things are things that I have said in the past, or that I've heard people around me say, in the world of big law. It's not restricted to these three things. There'll be a whole host of other things. So as you're listening to me run through the three, think about how they relate to the world that you're in, whether you're in corporate in tech, even if you are in law, but you've heard slightly different things because the principles are generally the same. And it's all about the fact that the reason why nothing's changed is that you haven't done anything about it. Okay. And at the end of it, I'm going to, again, tell you these three reasons tell you why they're not helpful to have. And in the process of that explain to you what it is you need to do if you want to change the situation where you're at, if you want to get from where you are, to somewhere closer to where it is that you actually want to be. Cool. Yeah, oh, let's get to it. So there are three things, which I've heard, or I've said, you're in a situation. In my case, you're in big law, you're getting really pissed off for various reasons. It could be the politics, it could be the workload, the hours, it could be just the lack of boundaries on your part, whatever it is, but you're hanging on, you always think that it'll be better next year. Or sometimes you say to yourself, you tell yourself the story that you're hanging on until a particular thing happens. So the three things I commonly hear or have commonly said myself are, well, you're going to hold on until you've saved enough money. You're going to hold on until you get your bonus. Or it's going to hold on just until the right thing comes along. But here's the thing. Whoever says that, and this was me. They never leave. They never change the situation for themselves. Why? Because in each of those scenarios, each of those things that they've just said, they're waiting for something to happen. They're pinning the hopes of change on external factors which they They do not control. So they've given away their power, they've given away their power to external forces. We all have our own personal power, we all have our own personal autonomy to make choices to make decisions. But by saying these three things to ourselves, and letting that be enough, and hoping that that is enough for change to occur, we're giving our power away, you're giving your power away. It isn't that inherently, those three statements or statements like them are wrong, is that there's no y to them? Like, what does it mean? What will it mean, when these things happen? So let's break it down. Second, the first one, you say to yourself, I hate this job. I hate where I am. I'm going to leave. But I'll leave when I've saved enough money. Okay. Sounds cool on the surface, right? I mean, it sounds sensible, even. I, I used to say that. And actually, when I did leave, I hadn't done that. So I don't advise anyone to follow the steps that I took. But I was lucky in terms of how I went, I did have enough money, but it wasn't through any sense of planning and saving enough. But that's another story. But saying that you'll leave when you've said enough is it's good. It makes sense, right? Because she kind of to sort of have discussion. But the thing is, when you say that, have you actually worked out what you need? I mean, have you looked at what you're spending now? And have you looked at whether you could cut some of that spending down if necessary, it's not that you have to cut it, but you need to have a sense as to just what you what you need. saving enough money is kind of I mean, it depends on who you are. Do you need to save 10,000 pounds? Do you need to say 50,000 pounds? You know, it really depends upon where you're living, what your lifestyle is, like, what you want your lifestyle to be like, what it is that you're going to do next? Are you going to go into another job that pays an equal level? Are you going to start your own business, you're going to take time out, you know, I mean, all of these things will play into the idea of so how much money you want. And if you haven't thought about any of that, how will you know when you've saved enough. You need to know how much of a runway you need. If you're not planning to work for a while, you're going to need more money than if you're planning to take a couple of weeks out and then go straight into another job at a similar level. So there are lots of questions you need to ask yourself. So simply saying to yourself, I will leave when I've said enough, is not going to get you anywhere. Because you're then just going to be like Yeah, I haven't saved enough yet. haven't saved enough yet a year later, haven't saved enough yet. You'll never go because money is addictive. That monthly salary is addictive. And it's very hard to give that up willingly. So you need to, in your mind have a target have a have a reason have a why as to why the particular figure that you're working towards that is the figure, why is it that figure? How have you got to that figure, and why is it important? So that when you reach that figure, there isn't this, I'll just stay for another month, another six months, I just get a little bit more, because it will keep sucking you in. Okay, so what is enough? Ask yourself that if you're saying to yourself, I'll leave when I've saved enough money, ask yourself, what is enough money for you? Okay, second, hate it. Fuck this life, I'll leave when I get my bonus. Similar. And for big law, because I know how that generally works. It's quite, can be quite a lowering. I mean, depending on the firm, some firms pay better bonuses than others. But I mean, there are some firms where you can get a really great bonus and even in some in house legal jobs as well, I know and then some corporate jobs. Bonus can be quite a decent percentage of your salary. So it's not to be sniffed out. And again, it makes perfect sense to hang on. You've worked that year, you feel you've earned that money. So you want to get that money before you walk out the door. No issue with that. But, again, the question is, why is getting that bonus important? I just said why it makes sense. But why is it important to you? And is the question to ask yourself is is getting that bonus, more important than getting out now? And that's going to depend. I mean, if you get your bonus at the beginning of a year, for example, And you're in December, then yeah, you might just think, yeah, oh, hell yeah, it's worth hanging on, it's only a matter of weeks, we've got the Christmas break in between, it makes sense. But if you if it's June, and you really hate it and the environments really toxic, and it's really affecting your well being, you've got to weigh up. Is it worth hanging on to the six or seven months for that bonus? Or is it better for you? Does it serve you better to just get out now. And that's a difficult idea to have, because you're thinking of giving up what might be a substantial amount of money. But I'd like you to sort of think of it in a slightly different way. And think of what is the cost of you staying in the situation, you're in for another six months, seven months, whatever it is, I look at it that way. Because we can look at the money, that's easy. But looking at the cost to us, the cost to our health, our well being our relationships, is that can actually be quite powerful, it can actually give you a different spin on the situation. Other things to think about is though, what what will magically change what magical insight into your future will you have when you get your bonus, this bonus doesn't change anything, the bonus is just money in the bank. But if you haven't done the work to create the vision as to what that bonus would mean, and why having that bonus is going to allow you to take the next step on the journey, you want to go on that step towards the life you want to live. Then, again, bonus hits your account, nice amount of money, or hang around, get it again next year, it's very easy to stay money is alluring. And what if you don't get the bonus? Then what happens? Do you hang around for another year? And hope you get it the following year? When is the cutoff? What is the cutoff? What if the bonus isn't at the level you expected? Same thing? Do you stick around? Do you hope that it's better next year? Or do you go anyway. So again, there's nothing wrong with saying you'll hang on until you get your bonus. But you have to know why. And you have to know what that means. What that will allow you to do, what having that money is going to give you that you don't have now in order to get to where it is that you want to get to. Okay, third point, hate it don't want to be here. But I'm going to leave when the right thing comes along. And this is a common one. I know in big law, I had colleagues who were waiting for that perfect in house job, you know, and some of them were actively out there searching for a job. But others were just hanging around and not really doing the work not really having a strategy to figure it out. And look, the right thing isn't just gonna come along. The right thing isn't just out there in the streets looking for the perfect person to land on? No, hell no. I mean, even if, like me you believe in manifestation and the power of the universe and all of that good stuff. You've got to do your bit. You know, anyone in that space will say to you, the universe will meet you halfway, but it's not going to come to you and give you what you need if you're just sat on your ass doing nothing. So if you're sat around thinking I'll do the right thing comes along, and maybe you send an email, or maybe you look at a job site, once a week, whatever the right thing is not going to come along because you need to be showing that you what it is that you want, and actually taking steps to try and make that thing happen. You need to be treating, finding that right thing, almost as a job within itself. putting in the hours doing the research, making the connections and networking with people, all the things that you probably did to get the job that you currently have, which you now don't want or you're not happy with. And the right thing that comes along, it may not even be to go somewhere else. It may just be a little shift in the organisation, you're already in a shift sideways or to another office or to another department. But again, you need to be clear. First of all, what is the right thing? And why is it the right thing? And what is that going to give you that you don't have now? Then when you know what the right thing is, you can then start to figure out okay, how do I get myself into a position where the right thing is going to come across my path where people know, this is what I'm looking for. And so when these things come up, people automatically think of me and send those opportunities my way. Because look, we can all sit around and say, wait for the right thing to come along. But if you don't know what the right thing is, it's going to come along pass you by and you'll never even know. And if you do no it'll be too late. We'll already have gone. So, to recap three things that, you might be saying that I have said that people say that stops them from moving forward, but makes them think that they have some sort of plan. I'll leave, I'll change when I've saved enough money. I'll leave or change when I get my bonus, or leave or how change when the right thing comes along. So yeah, if you're saying any of these things or things similar to them, they're not wrong. But I want you to go deeper. And to ask yourself, why? Why are you waiting for that particular thing to happen? What will change? What will magically come to fruition? And what do you need to do? Aside from those things? What do you need to do? Do you need to create this spreadsheet of money out money in so you know exactly what money you need? Do you need to plan how long of a runway you might need? Do you need to have a year's cash in the bank three years cash in the bank? Do you need to know what that bonus represents? And what that is going to allow you to do that you can't do now? Why is it important? More important for you to have that bonus. Or if you always the cost of being where you are worth more to you than the bonus? The right thing? What is the right thing. Don't just wait for the right thing to come along. Figure out what the right thing is. And then figure out the steps you can do to create the opportunities for yourself. And things will come along, but you need to be in the position for them to happen. Cool. I hope that helps you this week, as inspired by a LinkedIn post that I wrote this week about just waiting saying that you will wait next year things will be better and the number of people that say that and do that. And next year comes and they sit in the same place. Things aren't better, but they haven't moved on. Because they haven't really made a plan to move on. They're too focused on what they don't like and what they don't want. And they haven't taken the time to figure out focus and create and design what it is that they do want. So always comes back to clarity. Get clear, get clear on your focus, get clear on your mission and get clear on why they are important to you, and why you want them. Because that's going to allow you to make the decisions you need to make and push forward when those obstacles come in to play. That's it for me this week on The Triple C Project. I hope this episode has been useful to you, as always, if it has, share it, share it with a friend. I know. In biglaw, I had so many colleagues who would come into my office for chat. And we were all sharing the same issues in slightly different forms. And so if you have people who are like that around you, wherever you are, share the episode with them. And explain to them what you took away what insights you had that might help them make decisions that they need to make to change their situation to get from where they are to where it is that they might want to be. And if you like to support the show, please leave a review reviews are always good and helpful. They're good for getting the show out to other people. But they're also good because it allows me to sort of see what's what's resonating me What's jiving with you the things that you really are taken away from the show so I can do more of them. And you can always obviously send me an email Hey, at I am Ryan spence.com. Or catch me on the socials. If you want to do that, too. I want to create a show that will help you. I'm creating this from the position where I was and I know the issues that I have. And I know people share those issues. But I want to make sure that if you have anything that I haven't covered that I can help you out there, too. And I can cover that for you. So I always will always want to hear from you. I appreciate you listening to the show each week. And yeah, I want you to stop living that life of lethargy and start living life. Thanks for tuning in to The Triple C Project. Before you go, I want to share something with you. When I was in big law, I struggled with limiting beliefs. I didn't have the competence to believe that I could change my life that I could lead big law and do something differently than I could move from a life of lethargy and create a life that's lit. That's why I created the conference journal for people like you who are in the same position that I was struggling with confidence and need a boost to allow you to believe that you can do the things that you want to do. The confidence journal is six journal prompts that I've used and I still use To help me get from the guy who's too scared to post on Instagram, to the guy who is now committed to giving a TED talk to the guy who wrote a book, to the guy who launched a podcast, you can do any of this too. All you need to do, is start boosting your confidence. So to do that, head to iamryanspence.com and download the Confidence Journal. It's free. It works, and it's going to change your life. Thanks for tuning in. See you next week. And remember, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit!