Breaking Down Walls: A Metaphorical Renovation

Ever stopped to consider the layers of your beliefs, reasons, and goals?

Watching the deconstruction and reconstruction of walls as our house undergoes renovation, it struck me how the process provides a beautiful metaphor for personal growth.

The stripping away of layers until you reach the foundations and discover what lies beneath. What's been hidden, what's been suppressed, and the issues that require our attention.

Join me as I share how you applying this metaphor to your own life can help you reevaluate your beliefs, and gain a profound understanding of yourself, your desires, and your path to fulfilling them.

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Transcript

Ryan Spence: 0:00

ripping off the surface and really getting down to the core and seeing what's underneath there. Is there a strong foundation? Are there strong beliefs? Is there a real reason why I'm doing what I'm doing right now? Is there a why You're listening to the Triple C Project? Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, use confidence, your courage, so you can live life. Next I'm your host, ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big, hairy, volatious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now, with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat. Allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey, hey, welcome to episode 76 of the Triple C Project. Brief episode this week. No long preamble Apart from, I want to tell you that my new article is up on Substack and in this week's I talk about yoga, my yoga practice.

Ryan Spence: 1:22

My yoga practice has helped me and how it can help you. The piece is titled. It's Not About Shaped, it's About Self, and I'm going to drop the link in the show description for you to go ahead and check it out. If you listened to the previous couple of episodes, you'll know that this is, this is my new project, my new creative project, out on Substack, which I'll just be using to just explore some ideas and to get these creative ideas that sometimes don't feel like they have a home, just put them out there. Put them out there into the world in the hope that they can, they can help, they can inspire you, either with the words that I write or just the fact that I'm doing this, because we all have ideas and sparks within us that we think about taking on, but for some reason we just don't quite get to it. So I'm hoping that my project will help you and it will also satisfies a little bit more of my creative urge.

Ryan Spence: 2:21

Okay, so let's get straight into this week's episode, and this is this is a little bit strange of the fact that this just came to me in a dream last night. It's probably there and bellied in my unconscious mind and I woke up this morning and I was like I had a really good idea and I can't remember it and slowly bits of it have been coming back to me throughout the day, but I wanted to share it because I think it's a. It's a. It's a really good way at looking at what I'm going to talk about. And what I'm talking about is when we just keep moving on, keep doing the same things we've always done, without examining the reasons as to why it doesn't feel right or examining whether it actually is working for us. You know, sometimes when you're not feeling great, you maybe a little bit under the weather, you've got a little niggle here or there or wherever, and you just keep pushing forward. You don't really take the time to look underneath and see what's up, see what's really going on, or what you do is you take some painkillers or you put a bit of cream on it and you're kind of trying to deal with the actual pain itself of looking at the root of it, which is something that I've talked about on a previous episode.

Ryan Spence: 3:37

But the reason why this was coming up for me is so we're in the process of having our house renovated and it's an oldish house and what's being interesting, apart from just seeing how just what builders can do when you've got a good one, that is, in terms of just rearranging walls and that kind of thing, which is just fascinating as I sit here in my office just tapping away on the keyboard doing the job that I do. What's being fascinating is that when because the house is old and the person we got the house from lived here for 30 years, so not a lot had been done to this house, and so the things that you think that you're going to do, that are on the plans and once the builder gets to them and you start to kind of peel away bits of wallpaper or start to knock out bits of walls, you find other things going on underneath. And this was particularly prevalent yesterday when in the wall between our bedroom and my eldest son's bedroom. And I've always wondered, why does this wall just? You know it doesn't feel particularly strong. I mean, it's fine, it's standing out, but it just feels a bit weird.

Ryan Spence: 4:50

And as they started to take some of that wall down for the door, he showed me what was inside and the wall. It just wasn't really sturdy enough the way that had been built. It was very thin sort of. It just wasn't in good shape and it was basically kind of being held up by wallpaper in some places as well. And so he asked me do you just want to just take the whole wall down and build it back up? And it was a very short period of time. I was like, yeah, you may as well just do that.

Ryan Spence: 5:27

And why I'm showing that is because I think it's can be related to ourselves. So sometimes we have this body, we have this way of living and we are so used to it that we just keep going. And it isn't until we are we slow down or we are forced to slow down, that you can, that you start to take the time to examine what's really going on underneath, like when I had COVID earlier this year. When you're forced to start and you can't really do anything else, you have to take the time to really look at what's underneath. And when you look at what's happening underneath, you can often find there were certain things that aren't working for you. Whether it's the odiac, whether it's the movement, whether whether you're not drinking enough water, whether it's just that your mind is always racing, you're never taking the time to slow down.

Ryan Spence: 6:20

There are all of these things which are happening under the surface, but because you've been keeping yourself busy, you've never really allowed yourself to peel away the layers and really look at what's going on underneath and so, like this wall, as they went ahead and sort of started to sort of tear it down and all this dust came out of it, it was just like, oh fantastic. And it made me think that, yeah, when we start to break ourselves down, when we are in that process of personal development and growth, it is an action of almost kind of breaking parts of ourselves down, because what we're doing is we're peeling back the layers of what we believe, of our understanding of how things are supposed to be. And in peeling back the layers it can be quite a painful or an uncomfortable process and you can kind of imagine all of this dust sort of coming out of yourself metaphorically as what you believe to be true about yourself or about what's possible for you. Actually, it turns out not to be, or turns out just to be, a construction in your mind or of your social conditioning. And when you keep peeling and you allow all of that dust to come out and you get rid of all of the weakened parts within you and by weak I mean parts that aren't working for you, I don't mean physically weak Then you replace those alterations not that they did it yourself, just so that you don't forget a part of it pieces with stronger pieces. You basically start to rebuild yourself from the inside. You then start to create this stronger being and because you now have this strong inner core, this strong foundation, it gives you a launchpad to keep growing further without burning yourself out, in a way that is more sustainable, in a way that better serves you. So now the wall has gone down, it's started to go back up and the frame is there, and the next stage is for them to put the boarding over it, to make it look like a wall again. And it's amazing to look at it and to make that connection between ourselves, between breaking ourselves down or unraveling the many, many layers of the person that we think we are or we think that we should be, and really examining whether all of that is actually true or is actually what we want.

Ryan Spence: 9:07

And this process of shedding layers is something that I've gone through and I guess I'm still going through in a lot of ways since leaving Big Law, because there is this conditioning about the world that you're in whether it's Big Law or it's a corporate organization, there's layers, there's an armor that you put around yourself. There's a role that you play, there's a box that you put yourself in that you feel you need to be in, you need to carry, you need to wear in order to succeed in that world. And often what that does is it completely covers a mass, the real you. There's bits of you in there, but it suppresses, maybe, some of the natural gifts and traits and talents that you have. And so when you decide that that isn't for you, or when you decide you no longer want to play that game, that's the first step.

Ryan Spence: 10:04

But you have to go through that process of shedding, basically, of, like they were doing, ripping off the surface and really getting down to the core and seeing, well, what's underneath there. Is there a strong foundation? Are there strong beliefs? Is there a real reason why I'm doing what I'm doing right now? Is there a why? And if there isn't, then you need to start to build one. But I know and I know because I did this for years that it's very easy to ignore all of that, because it's far more comfortable, in some ways, to just keep pushing forward and keep following that latitude, success that we're told that we should follow, to keep riding on that train that we're told that we should get on Without stopping asking that self the question and peeling off those layers to get to the essence of who you really are.

Ryan Spence: 11:08

So that was the crazy story that came to me in the dream that to kind of take the whole breaking down of the walls of our house and applying it to you. But what I found in my personal development quest and in the clients that I've worked with different stories hit differently at different times for different people. So you can tell the same story multiple times to the same person in different ways, but hearing that story, that particular story at that particular time when they're in that particular place, can be the time when it really lands for them. And so, even though I thought this is a crazy story that no one's going to care about, I did really feel that it was valid because I really felt within myself that connection between the old wall and my old self. I could really see as they were taking this down. Yes, that's what I've been doing. I've been ripping off all of these layers and then allowing that dust to fly out so that I can better get to the source, I can better examine what's really going on inside of me who am I really and where is it that I really want to go? What is it that I really want? And so I'm hoping that this story helps you think about where you are and what you're doing in a different way.

Ryan Spence: 12:41

As I say, a lot of what I do is about just trying to get you to think differently too. As my tattoo says, question everything, question the assumptions that you have about yourself about what's possible, and think about if there is a spark of something else. What would it be like if you really examine that, really strip those layers off and got to the essence and looked at what that meant for you and built that strong foundation so you could really grow and keep growing from a place that is solid and a place that is true to you? Okay, that's it for me this week. I told you it's going to be a shorter one. I will catch you next week for another episode of the Triple C project. As always, hit me up with an email, hey, at Iamrinespencecom, or over on Instagram at IamunderscoreRyanspence, or find me on LinkedIn. Tell me what you take away from this episode, what insights you take away. Maybe tell me about the layers that you had to shed or what you found out about yourself in this process of unshedding, of removing these layers that you have built around you as armor to allow you to get through life in the way you think you should, instead of getting through life in the way that you want. Always, always, love to hear from you. Catch you next week. Until then, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project.

Ryan Spence: 14:18

In the spirit of the Triple C, there's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcastcom. Slash triple C or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how the show can help them. Second thing you can do share. Share this episode, share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three, head to imrinespencecom. Get on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to my new book, start writing soon, so to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and, until next week. Stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life lit.