Time Will Pass Anyway, So Who Do You Want To Be When It Does?

8 weeks to go the email said.  

3 months earlier I’d signed up for the Sheffield 10k.

I used to run regularly but at the time of signing up I hadn't run in over a year. 

So signing up for a race was my way of getting myself back into it.  

But when that 8-week email landed in my inbox I’d run precisely 0 kms.

I’d been putting it off because I knew it was going to be uncomfortable. I told myself I was too busy to run, too tired to run, too hungry to run. 

I told myself it was too cold, too wet, too hilly. 

I told myself I’d run tomorrow. 

And when tomorrow came I’d find some excuse to put it off until the the next day, and the next.

And now, this email stood out in my inbox, reminding me of my failure to get off my ass and run.

In this week's episode, I share why stressing over the process won't get you to where you want to be and pose an insightful question to ask to get you out of your head and taking the action you need to get you living life Lit!

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Transcript

Ryan Spence: 0:00

And so think about when you're sat there in this overwhelm playing it around in your head, ask yourself this question If the time is going to pass anyway, who do I want to be when that time has passed? You're listening to the Triple C Project. ["triple C Project"]. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, use confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now, with Brent, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey, hey. I'm back, back to deliver to you episode 79 of the Triple C Project, after my two week holiday which was pretty good, if I'm honest with you went down to the Isle of Wight with a family, and if your parent listened to this, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Ryan Spence: 1:26

Holidays with kids are a little bit different. They're never quite what you imagine. I mean, effectively, you are still taking care of your kids in a location where you don't have any of your stuff, any of the things that they need, and a whole foreign environment which brings its own challenges. So we had a good time. We had fights and tantrums and tears, but we also had some good fun as well and rambling on the beach and some decent weather for a large part of the time. So yeah, and weirdly I don't know why this holiday I've come back with not so much rested and recuperated I mean, you kind of expect that from a holiday, but particularly a holiday when you're not in big law and don't have to work over it but just with I did a lot of blue sky thinking, got a lot of new ideas and just this real sense of invigoration and yeah. So seeing what ideas that came up, what they turn into, is going to be interesting over the next few weeks and months.

Ryan Spence: 2:29

So but one thing that I did while I was away is I started running. So the out of why is probably not the best place to start running, because it's very at least where we are, it's very hilly, so they kill me a bit. But the reason why I started running is because it's something that I actually should have done a while back. But here's the deal. So back in I can't remember now April, march, maybe I started to sign up for a 10K race.

Ryan Spence: 2:59

Now back in Singapore, so going back sort of three, four years ago, I was running regularly and there had been for a few years, so 10k was kind of my distance. I'm definitely not a marathon runner, but 10k is kind of my thing. I haven't run a 10k in like yeah, since I left. So about four years, three, four years and Although I mean I stood a little yoga, a lot of Pilates, my my cardio Fitness is has been lacking. I've known that for a while. So signing up for this race was my way of Getting myself back to, you know, a decent level of cardio, not getting out of breath climbing the stairs or getting a jog down the road. But the thing is that I signed up for it, intended to start running and then did nothing about it, and then a few weeks ago I got the email saying eight weeks to go. And it's like damn, eight weeks until this race and I had it.

Ryan Spence: 3:59

Even started running, I hadn't done any training and that's about the minimum amount of time you need to train, particularly when you haven't run Probably over a year by that point. But I kept putting it off and they kept putting it off because thing is, running isn't really something that I love, it's something that I was kind of forced to do. So I'll give you the short story, which is that back in in 2012, when I was at the firm that I was at in London I was I was a comment to a client and if you don't know what that means, effectively, that just means that I went to work for a client for a period of time. It's law firms do this is that they see it as a way for you to kind of gain addition experience. It's also a way for them to carry favor with the with the clients as well. They like having somebody from a firm on the box for a period of time, and so I At my firm had a gym I went to and I used to love that gym, used to go go regularly.

Ryan Spence: 4:56

You know these big firms have for these Immunities to kind of keep you staying at the office later, working later, but I like the gym, but obviously going to the client on another part of London meant that I couldn't use that gym. So I made the knot, I thought when reasonable request to ask the firm to Pay for my gym near the client's office, to which they said no. I Was pissed and so I had to figure out what I was going to do for the time I was there to to kind of maintain my, my fitness, and I Thought about paying for gym myself. But one Principle I didn't want to do that. And two, I wasn't going to sign up for a year because I was only going to be there for like three to six months. So High love the Olympics. It was 2012 Olympics in London, great weather, all the rest of it. I decided to okay, I'm going to start running Now.

Ryan Spence: 5:49

Running was a thing that I used to do for the sports that I was into for football, for basketball, for badminton, for training. That's when I used to run. The idea of running for the sake of running just never really appealed to me. But anyway, this is what I was left with. So they say that you never forget your first kiss and never forget my first run.

Ryan Spence: 6:15

It was painful, if I'm honest with you. It was painful, I was miserable and, yeah, I just didn't enjoy it one bit at all. So I was out for about 15 minutes or so and going around the streets of Clapham, where I live, which is in Southwest London, and I remember the first few steps and I was like, okay, let's do this. And then, in what seemed like no time at all, I literally felt that I was going to die. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest and hit the ground, creating this big red blob. There were times when I felt that I was going to puke. I walked probably more than I ran. It was. Yeah, it was a shit show. If you'd seen me, you would've been like what a state you are. So, yeah, it was miserable, but afterwards, strangely, I actually felt pretty good. It's that thing they call the runners high, there's endorphins.

Ryan Spence: 7:15

So even though the process itself had been really miserable and uncomfortable for me, I did feel better afterwards and I decided that this is what I was going to do. So I did it again, and I did it again, and I did it again and it got a little bit easier each time until it got to the stage where I was running quite freely. I started to enter 5K races and 7K races and then 10K races, and then I moved to Singapore with all the humility and still kept running and started doing obstacle course races of 10, 12, 15k. So I was at the point where I could actually call myself a runner. So I'm telling you that story because that sets the scene for right now.

Ryan Spence: 7:58

Because, knowing what I could do before in terms of running, knowing how long I hadn't run for, and with my first run still firmly ensconced in my mind, I was theorizing and sort of worrying and strategizing about getting out and running, because I knew that it was going to be uncomfortable, and not only that, it's going to be uncomfortable, but I knew what I could do before that I wouldn't be able to do that now, at least for a good while, because I hadn't run for so long. And it's fit into that thing that I talked about before, which is not wanting to do something that we feel we're not good at, wanting to be good at something straight away. Yeah, so basically it was my ego. But what changed?

Ryan Spence: 8:52

Obviously, seeing that eight week email, it was kind of like, if I'm going to do this race, I kind of need to start running. And I'm not going to lie. I confess there was a moment where I was like I could just not do it. It doesn't really matter, who cares. But then there was the other part of me that was like no, there's a reason, you signed up for this and you're going to do it. And so I had to get my head around the fact that it's going to be uncomfortable. I'm probably not going to enjoy it for the first few runs, but I'm going to feel great after each run and I'm going to feel even better when I get to the race and do that race and when I just feel fitter and stronger for running.

Ryan Spence: 9:35

And the other thing that I said to myself is the time is going to pass anyway. So who do I want to be when that time has elapsed, when it gets to the 24th of September, the day of the race? Who do I want to be? Do I want to be the guy who kept thinking about how tough and uncomfortable it would be to start running again, so didn't do the race? Or do I want to be the guy who got up and went out anyway, knowing it would be tough, knowing it would be hard, and just kept putting one foot in front of the other, training run after training, run to get to and beyond race day. And that was an easy answer to that question. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to be the guy that got up and showed up, even when it was hard to do so, even when I knew it would be difficult to do so.

Ryan Spence: 10:31

And so, strangely, holiday was where that all began and, as I say, starting in a place with some really serious hills and yeah, it was it was tough, but I think there's something about being in a new environment, having decent weather the most days, although some days I ran in the rain, which I actually do love. Running in the rain. There was something about that whole new scene that invigorated me, that got me fired up and got me from not running to running. Three to five times a week now is kind of what I'm doing for my training plan, and there are some runs where I feel fantastic, I'm really in flow, I feel like this is going great. And there are other runs, like the one I had today, the day that I'm recording this episode, which was an intense interval run and was just really real, real, real struggle, to be fair. But even though it was a real struggle, I celebrated at the end because I actually got up and went out and did it.

Ryan Spence: 11:34

The alarm went off in the morning. I didn't have a great night's sleep, I was dehydrated because the weather's really hot here and I didn't want to go out and run. But I got out. That's the first win. I got out the door, I got up and put my running shoes on. I got out the door, I started running and I kept running and if I didn't run, I walked, even when I was hitting the interval, ha. And I said like this this is over, I just want to quit this and go back home. I didn't. I slowed the run down, maybe I walked for a bit, but I kept it moving and I got to the end of the run and that was the win. It was the small win. So, even though it wasn't a great run by in my mind, by my standards I mean, I wasn't hitting any great times, I wasn't feeling in any great flow Just getting out and doing it was enough. That was the win today, and Doing that is another step in getting to the person that I want to be by the time the race comes around and beyond that.

Ryan Spence: 12:39

So I've told you all of that, because there's gonna be situations, there's gonna be things that you want to do. You think about doing goals. You want to get. After that Feel good to you, but the thought of going through the process of getting there Just feels quite overwhelming. You know it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be uncomfortable for whatever reason, whether that's physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Ryan Spence: 13:07

And Rather than just getting started, you're spending this time playing it all out through your head, saying tomorrow I'll do it, or next week I'll do it, or when this is happened, I'll do it, when I finish that deal, or when I come back of my holiday, or when I had a good night's sleep, and there are all of these excuses and reasons that you give yourself for not Starring the thing, for not showing up that day, and the next day and the next, and the thing is, as I said to myself, that time is going to pass anyway. So, the sake of argument, you could maybe achieve your goal in six months If you just got up, got down and did it, did something each day to do it. But if you spend three months Thinking about it, stressing over it, getting overwhelmed, trying to make yet another plan instead of taking some action, then you're gonna be three months behind because that time is gonna go ahead anyway. And so think about when you're sat there in this overwhelm playing it around in your head, ask yourself this question if the time is going to pass anyway, who do I want to be when that time has passed? Do I want to be who I am now, beating myself up for not having got up and got after it, at least tried? Or do I want to be that person who got up and gave it a go? Because it's not about the goal.

Ryan Spence: 14:45

I've said this before. It isn't really about the goal. It's about the person you become in the process of trying to achieve that goal. It's about showing up, even when it doesn't feel great to do so, because there's something bigger than yourself that you're getting after, that you're striving for, which is why I always talk about this why? Why are you doing the thing? What's that intrinsic meaning to you of doing that thing, of going after that goal? Because if you don't have that, it's easy to just hit snooze, turn over, go back to bed and not get up and go out for that run. It's easy to say, oh, this is just too hard, there's just no point, I can't be bothered to do this and sit around and do something else, and that's all fine. But you wanted to do that thing for a reason. So find out why that reason is. Connect to that reason and think about who you want to be when that time passes, because it will pass anyway and future you is going to thank you. It's going to thank you so, so much when you get to that place and you look back and think I did that, I got through that process.

Ryan Spence: 15:57

And a final point to make as well is don't compare yourself to what you did before. What you did before gives you evidence that you can do the thing. But particularly if you've been out of practice, if you've been through a particularly difficult time or if you're just stepping up to another level, you can use all of what's happened before as evidence, as a foundation, as inspiration. But, like me with my run, don't expect to be able to run at the same pace and the same distance that you did before straight away. If you've had a big gap, if you had time away, if you've had a pause in your practice, give yourself some grace and start from where you are. That's all I have to share with you this week. It's great to be back. I really missed recording the episodes, which I didn't expect. When it got to Friday, I was a bit like, oh, there's no episode going out. So I'm glad that I'm back here with you for episode 79.

Ryan Spence: 17:02

And tell me, what is it that you have been sat struggling about? What have you been thinking about and not doing? Where has that overwhelm been coming in for you? Drop me a line, let me know. Email, hay at imrinespencecom, or hit me up Instagram at imrinespencecom, or just rinespence over on LinkedIn and tell me. I'd love to hear what's going on and just get this conversation going. And speaking of conversations, you can head over to my sub-stack, which I've talked about before, and just read some broader articles there about finding yourself, articles to inspire you to get after what you want, to think differently about yourself and to think about the person you want to become and how you are going to get there. Link is in the description of this show. And the great thing about sub-stack is we can start a conversation, because that's what I want this to be to be a conversation, to be something that not only helps but that we engage. And we have that back and forth, because I know for myself that's the way that I work things out is by talking them through, and so I hope that I can provide that space for you to do the same.

Ryan Spence: 18:20

Thanks for listening as always, and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life in it. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. In the spirit of the Triple C, there's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to RapeThisPodcastcom or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how the show can help them. Second thing you can do share this episode. Share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this show. And number three, head to IamRyansPentzcom. Head on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to my new book Start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Stop living life. Let.