The Triple C Project

The Power of Coaching: Illuminating Blind Spots & Transforming Lives

• Ryan Spence • Season 2 • Episode 102

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A profound transformation can start in the most unexpected places. Mine began in a training room, where I was both the coach and the student. This experience illuminated blind spots I didn't know I had.  

In this episode, I share the eye-opening realisations that came from a powerful coaching session that;

⚡️made me reassess and fully embrace the impact of my work;

⚡️showed where I was playing that impact down;

⚡️introduced me to the importance of humility through gratitude; and 

⚡️highlighted the areas where I needed to play bigger, and step up in asking for what I want and communicating what I need. 

I also shine a light on the power of coaching, what it can do for you, and what it did for me in my transformation from BigLAw lawyer to BigLaw dropout. 

In sharing my journey, I invite you to see how coaching unlocked my personal power and how it can do the same for you as I explore the power of exercising your 'ask muscle',
 and how the 'courage stacking' concept from my book, The Triple C Method, can help you build it.

I encourage you to cast aside the distractions and overwhelm of daily life and focus on a path that leads to you thriving not just surviving. It's time for you to own your transformation, and I'm here to guide you every step of the way. 

Listen in, connect, and together let's carve your route to success. 🚀

What's your one takeway from this episode? Send a text & let me know

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Speaker 1:

I was burnt out, I wasn't happy, I was lacking purpose and I saw what lie ahead for me if I stayed where I was, and I knew I didn't want it. You're listening to the Triple C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, ryan spence, the big lord, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip-hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Living a life that's lit. You're listening to episode 102 of the Triple C Project, and this week's going to be a little bit different. But before I get into why, let me tell you a bit of a backstory. So last week, as in the week before I'm recording this, I took part in a training course. So it's part of my continuing professional development as a coach, and I've done this before. It's the certification I've had since 2021. So I have been through this process before and when it came around this time, I tell you, if I'm honest, I really wasn't feeling it. And I wasn't feeling it because I was like I've got a lot on pretty tired. It's in the US, so the time zones clash, which means it's going to be a killer on my sleep and I just didn't really want to do it, if I'm honest with you, which is kind of unlike me, because I mean, I love learning and I love getting new stuff, but anyway, I I'd already paid for it, I'd already signed up. So, um, I joined and, my God, am I glad that I did Um, because I I have been doing this work, um, for a while now. Um, I've been doing it for a while on myself personally and then um additionally with clients, and I feel I'm at a pretty high level of clarity, confidence, courage, I'm pretty high level of productivity, of influence, of persuasion, of a lot of things that I coach on.

Speaker 1:

But through the course of that week, I could feel myself stepping up a level, like entering another gear that I didn't even know I needed to be in, I didn't even know I needed to step up to. Because what's beautiful about the development is that you coach and you get coached. And I got coached by some fantastic coaches, experienced coaches, people who'd been coaching for years, and coaching that I got kind of really just shone a light on some blind spots that I didn't even know, that I had Some areas where I probably wasn't playing as big as I felt that I was, and there's a lot still to unpack and take away which I'm still reflecting on and working through. But there was a particular session I got, I got coached on and there's a quote that the coach said to me. I said, to give you a bit of context, I was being coached on sort of influence and how, how much influence I thought I had, how I felt I was kind of bringing people along with me about sort of asking people for help and kind of getting them involved and bringing them along.

Speaker 1:

And he'd said to me that you're playing quite small, not necessarily in the work that I'm doing, but in the way that I was talking about it I was. He said you're playing down your achievements, you're playing down the importance of the work that you do and the, the change that you make. Cause we were talking and he was. I was kind of talking a bit about some of the work I'd just done with a couple of clients I'd recently finished with and he said the way that you're talking about it like this is this is transformational work and you're not really talking about it in those terms. And he said I get it, you, when you're in service, you, you want to be humble, you're, you're, you're playing this, this, not even playing. You are embracing this humility. And then he said a quote to me which kind of really shifted my thinking and it was the greatest form of humility is gratitude, and what he said he meant by that is playing small, playing down the work that you do.

Speaker 1:

Not. Shouting out from the rooftops about the power of the work that you do and the changes that you have and the impact that you've made isn't really fulfilling the service that you say you're in to the people you want to help. You should shout about it, you should make a big old noise and you should step it up from where you are. And you should step it up from where you are. And it doesn't mean that you can't be humble, that you can't show humility, but let that humility come through in giving gratitude for the fact that you are, you can do this work, that you have the skills, the experience, that you've had the resources to invest in yourself, that you've had the clients who have trusted you to guide them on their journey. Like that, gratitude is the greatest form of humility not playing down the work that you're doing and the impact that you're making.

Speaker 1:

And that hit hard and it got me thinking about various areas where maybe I wasn't stepping up as much as I thought I was. Am I really talking about the power of the work that I do? Am I really talking about it from a place of this is life-changing or from a place of, well, you can take it or leave it? Am I really asking, making the difficult, ask for help and for support, or am I still largely trying to do it alone? So there was a huge amount, as I say, to unpack and I will still be working through, but I wanted to share it with you because I always want you to know that I'm on this path with you. I may have made changes that you look at and think I'd really love to do that, and that's fantastic, but by no means is my work done, by no means is my growth done. I'm always looking to get to the next level. I'm always looking to keep pushing on.

Speaker 1:

I have this bigger mission that I'm working towards and it's something that I feel is a calling. It's something that I feel that I must do and that's why I get up every day and I do this work. It's why I post on social media, whether or not anybody engages with it. It's why I put out podcast episodes, not always knowing if people are listening and taking interest in what I'm saying. It's why I write as much as I do, because there's things which I feel I need to say, which I know are going to help people. It's a calling. I don't have somebody asked me um, once how long will you give it until? Until you call it a day, like if you don't kind of get to this level or that milestone, and my response was I'll be doing this work until I die, because I truly love this work.

Speaker 1:

And not only do I love this work. I believe in this work because I know what it did for me. I know what coaching did for me and I know what coaching has done for the clients that I have worked with, and so this isn't a case of give it a year and if I haven't replaced my big law income, then I'll go and do something else. That's not it at all. Genuinely, if we didn't need money to function in this world, I would do this work for free. That's how much it means to me. That's how fulfilling I find it. World, I would do this work for free. That's how much it means to me. That's how fulfilling I find it. But I know I got to live. In order to be able to give my best, I need to be at my best. So you know, we we have to, we have to pay for things in society, we have to exchange, we have to invest.

Speaker 1:

But I wanted to share that to kind of show of all that. I by no means have it all figured out, and even now I'm still recognizing areas that I maybe didn't see before. And having fantastic experience coaches, coach me is what's brought those things to the forefront. Um, and I wanted to share it because I just really wanted to step up in talking about the power of coaching and in this episode I'm going to be stepping up in terms of my courage of asking as well. So what you're going to hear this episode is uh.

Speaker 1:

For the rest of this episode is I'm going to share with you um audio of a video that I'm recording, which is going to be on my website. Um, uh, it's going to be a video just basically talking about the work that I do, the power of coaching, and it's going to it's inviting um anyone who listens, who, who feels what I say, who relates to what's going on um in the uh, the narrative that I'm, that I'm sharing, uh to apply to apply for a strategy session, a free strategy session. And the strategy session that we'll have is it's going to change you. It's going to change how you think about yourself and about your life and about how you approach things. It's going to give you new tools and habits and strategies that you can implement straight away after the call that are going to just change your life.

Speaker 1:

And so, whether we work together or not, beyond the call, this strategy call is it's really, it's really powerful. Um, I know it, cause I've been through one myself before, before I became a coach, and I've taken clients through them as well. Um, and again, I don't think I've talked about it enough and I'll talk about the work that I do more, um, in sort of probably the next few episodes, but for this episode, I just wanted to share with you the the audio, because, um, I don't know, I think it's. I think it's really powerful and I think it's. If you've never had a coach, if you don't know what coaching is, or you've been listening to this podcast and thinking this all sounds great and inspirational, but you still have absolutely no clue what it means to be a coach and how a coach can help you, then I thought it would be helpful and valuable to just share that audio here on this episode. So that's that bit, and the second bit is the ask.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to ask you to do something for me, and what I'm going to ask you to do is, once you've listened to this episode, once you've listened to that audio, as you're listening to it, I want you to think, obviously, first of all, how it applies to you and how it resonates with you, but then I would also like you to think about one person could be more, but at least one person who you feel, yeah, this is really speaking about their situation. This sounds like something that could really help them get out of a tight spot. This is something that could really pull them out of the rut that they've been in for a long time and that they've been struggling and they keep saying they want to change things, but they just don't know where to start. So I'm going to ask you to share this episode with that person. That's it. I want you to share this episode with a friend, a colleague, a family member who you feel could really benefit from what I'm saying and who could get some benefit out of a strategy session to kind of give them some tools to help them start to navigate their way out of their rut, to escape from their mental quicksand. That's it. Will you do that for me? I'd be really, really grateful if you do, and I'd be really grateful if you could just drop me a line just saying I've shared it with this person, or just saying, yep, I've shared it, or just telling me one thing that you took away or that you loved about the audio or the episode or the podcast in general. So this is me I'm stepping up my, I'm working out my ask muscle Um, as I think I've said to clients before, my ask muscle um, which I didn't know needed additional work, but um, I'm now realizing does so. Uh, this is um. This is part of me putting in my my reps, of asking for what I I want, communicating what I need, um, and I am trusting, um, that you will help me with that and I'm thanking you in advance for doing so. Okay, let's get into the audio. Uh, and I'll be back here to uh to talk you out, um, after that.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever found yourself at a crucial moment only to feel like you're not quite bringing your A game? Have you ever looked at your packed schedule and wondered how you could possibly juggle it all? Have you ever tried to influence your team at work or connect more deeply with your family at home, but something just isn't clicking? Have you ever felt productive but because you don't know where you're going or what you want, you end up feeling directionless, surrendering to the easy escape of Netflix, instagram or YouTube? I get it. I get it because I've been there.

Speaker 1:

These are all challenges that affect the way that you feel about yourself and that can hinder your performance. I'm Ryan Spence and I'm a certified high performance coach. I'm Ryan Spence and I'm a certified high performance coach. I'm someone who helps you figure out the answer to questions like how do I get back on my A game. How do I get more clarity on what I want? How do I become more influential? How do I become more persuasive? How do I stay on purpose, be my best self and actually grow into the person I've always wanted to become? Challenges on your own and find these answers to these questions.

Speaker 1:

You and I both know that reading books, going to seminars, watching TED talks and listening to podcasts are great for gathering information and building inspiration, but they haven't worked because you haven't changed yet. You're not yet at the level you want to be at, and it's not because you're incapable. It's because you've never had a coach. You've never been in that process of coaching, where someone isn't just giving you feedback. They're helping you find clarity, confidence, courage and personal power so you can perform at your best in your marriage, in your job, in all of your creative pursuits and generally in your life. The issue is you've been going at it alone. You're learning at your speed. You're not learning at the speed necessary to reach the next level, and it's not because you're not a good learner. It's because you need somebody who grabs you by the shoulders and steers you back on track when you lose direction, someone who helps you figure out exactly what you need to do, someone who's been there, done that and can help you find your way. The issue is that many people have never had the gift of the power of coaching.

Speaker 1:

And look, I know it sounds trite, but coaching transformed my life. I had all the outward trappings of success A promising legal career at one of the best law firms in the world, a healthy young family who I loved to death, and a kick-ass apartment in a condo in the tropical city-state of Singapore. I was living the dream, I guess you could say, but deep down I was struggling, I was burnt out, I wasn't happy, I was lacking purpose and I saw what lie ahead for me if I stayed where I was, and I knew I didn't want it. But I was so lacking in clarity as to what I did want, confidence that I could do anything else and courage to walk away from Until I worked with a coach. And coaching opened my eyes to new horizons. Coaching released me from my mental cell of self-limitation and guided me towards my purpose. It guided me back to myself and back onto my A game.

Speaker 1:

So I invite you to head to IamRyanSpencecom slash coaching and apply for a free strategy session and just for applying to work with me. Today, I'm going to send you two free gifts. Work with me today. I'm going to send you two free gifts my confidence journal to help you build confidence in your ability to get to where you want to be, and my pillars of high performance worksheet containing questions to condition your mind to pay attention to the critical areas of high performance. Even if you've doubted yourself before, now's the time to believe in your potential and listen. I know the road can be dark and challenging and sometimes you feel lost or frustrated, but this session, this strategy session, will help light the way. So apply now. I'm excited to work with you. Head to IamRyanSpencecom, slash coaching and hit the button, send your application in today.

Speaker 1:

Okay, how do you feel? What was that like for you? What insights did you get? What did you love? Or did you just think like, yeah, whatever, I'm genuinely uh, genuinely interested. Um, because I know for me, sort of putting that together, it really just cemented for me wow, like this work is powerful. When I was kind of thinking back to my time working with a coach and just pre-coach and how I felt and running that down, it just brought back a lot of that which I wouldn't say I forget, but sometimes you forget the depth of what you felt at a given time once you're out the other side, um. So I really hope that it's giving you some insights, it's giving you sort of hope of that.

Speaker 1:

There are other possibilities. Wherever you are right now, whatever it is you want to change, um, and I hope that it encourages you to start to go after them, whether that's applying for strategy session and sitting down and having a chat with me which I would love, um or whether it's some other way, whether it's utilizing the multiple free resources that I have or that other people have, whatever it is that you need to do that you've been thinking of doing but haven't gone around to. I hope that this episode encourages you to take that first step right now, after you listen to this episode, in making those changes that you know that you've been wanting to make, that you need to make in order to get from survival to thrival, in order to live life lit. And the other thing that I hope this episode does is I hope that it encourages you to start to exercise your ask muscle, encourage you to start communicating your needs clearly and honestly, because we can't get what we want, if we don't ask for what we want. And if we don't ask for what we want, the answer is always going to be no, right? But if we ask and the other person says no, then that's information we can work with and we can stop wasting our time there and move it along. But if we ask and the person says yes, then magical things can happen, and I've seen that just in my own life in the last few years. So I'm going to be asking for more, because apparently I haven't been asking for enough, which I didn't realise, and I guess that's the other thing is that sometimes we think that we're asking a lot or that we're talking about something a lot, but actually people aren't listening and it can take many, many asks and much communication before people actually think oh, okay, yeah, I know about that. Sure, I can do that.

Speaker 1:

So we've just got to keep putting ourselves out there and keep pushing, whether it's help with your career transition, I mean it's help with getting a promotion, it's help with changing the industry that you're in, it's help with fulfilling or pursuing your creative pursuits, help with your kids, it's help with your spouse, it's help with learning a new skill, whatever help it is that you need ask, ask somebody, make a list who can I reach out to today? Who are five people I can reach out to that could potentially help me with this? And then ask. Ask the question. It's a really good way of not only building your ask muscle but building your courage muscle, of going through that process of courage stacking that I talk about in my book, the triple C method, because it can be scary to ask things, particularly people we don't know that well, we're not quite sure how they're going to react. Once you've done it once, twice, three times it becomes easier, and that's what it means to stack your courage. So ask for what you want, communicate what you need, and I hope you share this episode with somebody who could really help, who it could really help, who could really benefit from what's been said, who could see themselves in the picture that I'm painting.

Speaker 1:

That's it for this week. Thank you, as always. It for this week. Thank you, as always, for being here. Um, I do not take your listenership for granted. Um, whether you listen every week or this is your first episode, I really appreciate you tuning in to the triple C project. It's why I show up, it's why I do what I do. Um, as always, I'd love to hear from you.

Speaker 1:

Feel free to drop a review. Link is in the show description or send me an email. Hey at, I am Ryan Spencecom, or hit me up on Instagram. I am underscore Ryan Spence, or over on LinkedIn, ryan Spence. You can find me. You will see me. I've got the nice blue background in my nice blue t-shirt. You can't miss me until next week.

Speaker 1:

Stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life. Thanks for tuning in to the triple c project. In the spirit of the triple c, there's three things that you cancom. Slash triple C or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how the show can help them. Second thing you can do share. Share this episode, share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three head to IamRyanSpencecom. Get on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to, my new book, start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit.