The Triple C Project

A.I.M. To Win: Do This To Get Better, Do Better, Be Better

• Ryan Spence • Season 2 • Episode 106

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Inspired by a spontaneous visit from a friend, this week I introduce the AIM framework—Awareness, Intentionality, Make a Plan—a versatile tool for enhancing your relationships and personal growth. 

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of striving to be your best self in every role, guided by the power of meaningful connections and intentional living.

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Speaker 1:

If you want to be a better friend, parent, partner, if you want to be a better you, you want to be your best self. What you need to do is you need to aim. You're listening to the Triple C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, ryan Spence, the Big Law Dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip-hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hello people, episode 106 of the Triple C Project Whoa, june's been a month already and I knew it would be.

Speaker 1:

It's been one of those situations where many things that I had said yes to, that I'd signed up to do, are all meeting a deadline or coming to a head in and around this month, and it's been a lot. It's been a lot, but you know, manifesting generator in human design terms. I roll with it, I just get on with it. But I'm looking forward to slowing down a little bit in July, taking some rest, definitely having a whole complete week off of everything and just sort of stepping back on some of the things I've been doing, particularly in and around social media, and focusing on some other things. That just going deeper, I guess, is what I'd say. I haven't fully worked it out yet, but I wanted to share that so that if you're feeling that, you know, I mean halfway through the year and you're still feeling like it it's a lot, you're knackered, you're exhausted, it's okay, it's okay to take a break, it's okay to acknowledge that and to to take a break. You know, we're not meant to, we're not machined, we're not meant to just keep going and keep going. And even if you were machined with a machine, with your, you turn it off, right, you shut it down, you put it into sleep mode, um, periodically, um, and we need to do that ourselves as well, um, especially if we're not getting the quality of sleep we need on a nightly basis. So, yeah, just uh, a little update, um from me, and once I'm giving updates, I guess um on the day, if you listen to this on the day of release, which will be Friday, the 21st of June, it's.

Speaker 1:

I'm giving a talk today which I'm excited and nervous about at the same time, because it's only it'll be the second, I think, in-person talk I've given in this new life of mine, and it'll be the biggest audience as well. And it's not to my usual audience, it's actually to a group of coaches slight sidebar, but I was wondering the other day, uh, cause I Googled it and there wasn't one what would you call, what would be the collective noun for a group of coaches? Um, if you've got, if you've got any, um, any any great, great ideas and ideas and suggestions. I'd love to hear them. Maybe I'll read some of them out on the show, cause I did Google and apparently there there isn't one. So, yeah, shoot me a message.

Speaker 1:

Hey, I am Ryan Spencecom or Instagram at. I am underscore Ryan Spence. But yeah, it's a. It's not my usual crowd, it's the biggest in-person crowd I would have spoken to in this new life of mine. And here's something that I, uh that I did. So, um, I, I obviously alignment is is huge in the work that I do. It's all about getting you to live in alignment with your values and alignment of the way that you want to live and want to feel Um. And, as I've said often before, I'm on this path with you. I very much um work to practice, um, what I, what I preach, what I talk about, what I live, it Um, because if I'm not living it, how can you you believe it and how can I know what, what's, what's needed, what the benefits are? Uh, and so that that kind of happened here, because I had agreed to do this months ago and I had a title for it and I kind of had an idea what I was going to, how I was going to present it.

Speaker 1:

And then on Monday of this week, I just felt this doesn't, this isn't actually what I want to talk about, not in terms of the subject. The theme is, the subject is the same, the title of the talk is finding clarity, is finding clarity amidst the chaos which, as you know, is something that I, I I talk about a lot in in various um, in various ways. But the, the, the talk I was going to get, the actual content of the talk just wasn't. I just wasn't feeling it, it just didn't feel in alignment, uh, and so on Monday, uh, monday evening, um, bearing in mind that I was supposed to submit my my slides to the organisers on Tuesday, I scrapped my talk and started again.

Speaker 1:

Um, and so, as at the time of recording this, I know I know the talk and giving, uh, I haven't practised it. I haven't practised the timings, um, but it's cool, I've still got some time today and it's stuff that I know. And really what I'm doing is I'm leading into, leading the attendees through practices to allow them to find clarity through stillness. So, the things that are in my wheelhouse, some breath work, some meditation, some movement. So I know what I'm doing. But again, I wanted to share that so that sometimes we feel we have to keep persevering with something, even though it just doesn't feel right, it just doesn't feel in alignment. And if you needed a permission slip not that I'm the one to give you one, but if you did need one, you can take this one Sometimes it's OK to just say this isn't working, let's scrap it and let's do something new, let's start again, even if you are a few days away from the deadline of the event that you're supposed to be speaking at.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so two tips there, two, two stories there, two uh, two, um. Yeah, two tools, two tips, um, I've been very generous already and the show hasn't even started yet, because neither of those two things are the subjects of today's show. So one of the reasons, one of the things I love about today's shows, one of the well, not even today's show one of the things I love about the show in general and the reason I created the show is, yes, to share my experiences and, yes, to share value. Value, um, and valuable tools and tips and strategies that you can implement. Um, but it's also sometimes just to just to get you to think differently about something, whether that's to think in a different way, whether that's to think more deeply.

Speaker 1:

Um, because we are so rooted in the way that we think, through the societal conditioning around us and the fact that you're here listening to the show. I know that you are critical in your thinking in many ways, and that's fantastic, but I feel that we can always be more critical. There's always those elements, those areas where we kind of forget that we're almost running on autopilot, we're almost thinking in the way we've always thought, without really questioning why. Um, and I do it as well, and so this is one of those episodes where, um, my intent is to kind of get you to think differently, uh, and it's also one where I've got a new framework.

Speaker 1:

I love frameworks. If you uh, if, if you uh listened to me for a while, you know I love frameworks from the, the triple C method, the flagship headline framework that is the title of my, of my first book, the AAA framework, the DID framework, which I include in the, in the intro to to that book, and which has been broken down in a previous episode. But this episode, as I was thinking about what I was going to talk about today and preparing it, the actual framework itself came to me. So the actual elements of it aren't new, but in terms of putting it together in this way, r is R, whatever you get what I'm saying right. So that's a longer preamble than I planned to kind of go into today's episode, which I'm going to open with this question Are you a good friend?

Speaker 1:

Haha, you weren't expecting that, were you? Are you a good friend? Now, it's one of those questions that you can't really answer. You can't really answer truthfully because you might think you're a good friend but in reality, only the people you're friends with can state whether or not that's true. And the same thing applies to other questions in life, like are you a good parent, or are you a good husband or wife or partner? Are you a good employee or employer? If you unequivocally answer yes to all of those questions and you list all the ways that you're just amazing and everyone else is lucky to have you they should be glad that you're around, that you allow them to bask in your presence then I'd hazard a guess that you're not as good at any of those things as you think you are and you can say you're good at those things and you can try to be good at those things. But if you have absolute certainty that you're the best friend, the best parent, the best husband, wife, partner, employee, employer that there's ever been, and that you can be, if you have that absolute certainty, I'm going to have some questions and I'm sure other people are going to too.

Speaker 1:

So why am I talking about friendship? Well, as you know if you've been listening over the last few months, my word of the year for 2024 is connection, and connecting to friends is a part of that. Connecting to friends more often, more deeply, it's all part of me living in alignment with that word. But also this week's episode is influenced by something that happened last week actually after I recorded last week's episode and that got me thinking about how often we say we are or we want something without actually doing anything about it. We want connection, but what do we do about it. We want a job that fulfills us, but what are we doing about it? Want a job that fulfills us, but what are we doing about it? We want a beautiful, strong relationship, but what are we doing about it? We want to get on better with our kids, but what are we doing about it?

Speaker 1:

So I got a text last Thursday completely out of the blue from a friend of mine and the gist of the text I'm not going to read the text, but the gist of it was that it was the last minute but they were going to be up in my neck of the woods. So I'm up here in Sheffield, which is about a three hour drive from London further, because he's listening down in South London, but it'd be good to catch up. And also the bit that I loved is that you know he didn't want to be in my city and not let me know that he'd been here, which I thought was beautiful, and I laugh when I read that, because this whole thing about ensuring that you let someone know you're in the area when you are around is literally how I was raised. Area when you are around is literally how I was raised. That it's rude not to. If you're going to be in the vicinity of someone's house or someone's place of work where you know someone's likely to be, and you don't at least let them know you're going to be there, even if it's a flying visit, you're not going to have time to see them. That's a problem, and if you're seen and word gets back to the person, things could get awkward. So so that's something that's. That's something that I was always, always raised with Um. So it was funny to me when he, uh, when he said that Um, and that is something which I I try to live by still these days Um, when I was in London, I would make exceptions if people were visiting me in London, because London's a big old place, and if I'm in East London and someone's visiting London but going to going to the north, it isn't necessarily just like an easy trip down, um, when people are working and stuff and tubes and all the rest of it.

Speaker 1:

So so that's kind of cool. But in somewhere like Sheffield, you know it's still a big city, but if you're're here, let me know you're here, you know I'll be. I'll be offended if you don't. So I love that my mate reached out, um, and yeah, it was difficult. It was a weekend when I was going to be a solo parenting. My wife was away and, uh, it's going to be difficult for me to kind of get away and and meet Uh. But I let him know that and kind of gave some options, and he found a gap in his schedule, jumped in an uber and arrived at my door and hung out here for a couple of hours, um, which is great it was. It was fantastic to to catch up. Uh, we've known each other for years, um, since the beginning of my days in the music business, and we both got off and done completely different things since then. So it's always interesting to sort of catch up and see what each of us is, is up to at that point, what we're thinking, what's going on with us, um, both with with work, but also with families and life in general.

Speaker 1:

Um, so after he left, uh, I reflected on just just how great it was to connect, how energising it was for me, how inspiring it was for me just to kind of hear about the potential things he's got coming up and just how much fun an impromptu visit from a friend can be. I remember as a kid you used to go around and just knock on your mate's door and see if they're all right to come out and play, and we don't really do that as adults. Um, if somebody just knocked about your door without you having any clue that they, that they were arriving, you'd probably be a bit put out. Um, you know, I know I would um. So, yeah, just an impromptu visit can actually be be really really good fun from from someone who you know really well, um, even when you do have two kids like mine just disrupting the proceedings and trying to trying to sort of demolish or derail any conversation that you're trying to have.

Speaker 1:

But anyway, this whole experience and this reflection it got me to asking the question I asked at the top of the show am I a good friend? I didn't ask it because I thought I wasn't. I didn't ask it because I thought I wasn't um, but I asked it because what my friend did in reaching out, in flexing his schedule and jumping in the cab to come across a city that he doesn't know to hang out with me and my kids, even though he's got two kids at home, and I know what it's like when you, when you're away from your kids, you don't always want to be around other people's, but to do that for a couple of hours in the midst of a busy schedule to me, was the hallmark of a good friend. It's good friend behavior, and so I got to thinking about what a good friend means to me and how I could be that for others. What would I need to do? What would I need to put in others? What would I need to do? What would I need to put in place? What would I need to think about?

Speaker 1:

And this is where I came up with the three-part framework to help me with that, and then I'm going to share with you today, and it's a framework that applies to any relationship, I would say, and it's simple. In fact, you can apply it to any change that you want to make. For that matter, as I say, each of the steps are simple, but they're things that many don't consciously think about. Okay, so here's where it is. If you want to be a better friend, a parent, partner. If you want to be a better you, you want to be your best self.

Speaker 1:

What you need to do is you need to aim. I love my three parts Aim, a-i-m. So what does that mean? Well, the first thing you need to do is you need. Well, the first thing you need is you need awareness. You need to be aware that there is room for change and that you want to change. You want to grow. Because if you keep burying your head in the sand and telling yourself everything's fine, nothing's wrong, I can live with, even though you feel like shit and you're miserable and you're unfulfilled, then nothing will change and you'll never grow. So you need to be aware that change is needed and that you want it.

Speaker 1:

Then what you need is you need intentionality. So once you're aware that change is needed and that you want it, you've got to be intentional about changing. So you've got to set an intention, because change won't happen because you say you want it to happen. It'll only happen if you're intentional about making it happen. So you've got to set the intention to change. And then the third and final part of the framework is make a plan. You've got to make a plan of action as to what you're going to do to change or to be better. So ask yourself questions like what will I start doing, what will I stop doing, and how will I evaluate what's working and what's not, so that I can adapt as necessary? So that's the AIM framework. Be aware you want to be better, set an intention to be better and make a plan to be better, opened up by talking about this in terms of relationships. But, as I said, you can apply this to almost anything, anything that you want to change or be better at.

Speaker 1:

So, for example, I I want to be a great yoga teacher, a better yoga teacher. You know, I'm always trying to be better at what I do and to me, that means not just having my students leave feeling physically good, like they've had a nice stretch or some nice movement or a good bit of strength work, but it's to challenge my students, to leave them feeling challenged mentally so that they take what they learn on the mat off the mat. They don't just come to class to do yoga, but they leave class and they live yoga. That's what I want as a yoga teacher. That's, that's. That's my intention. That's what I want. That's, that's my goal and I have clarity on that, on that. So I'm aware of that goal and I've set an intention to do something in each class that I teach that challenges me as a teacher and leads me towards that goal.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's just a very small tweak, something that's a little bit different. Maybe it's not demoing particular poses. I'm really trying to get clear and nuanced in the way that I cue so that I can see my students better and leave that space for something else. But intentionally, with each class that I teach, I'm going into it knowing that my goal is to be a great yoga teacher and what that being a great yoga teacher means to me, and thinking about what can I do in order for that to happen. And I have a plan.

Speaker 1:

It's an evolving plan, but my plan to get there involves assigned reading at the moment, predominantly around the yoga sutras for now, reading one sutra a day and meditating or thinking about that sutra and probably journaling about it as well, to kind of give me that greater depth of yoga knowledge, yoga philosophy Um, because for me there's a lot of my, my life, coaching, um, thinking, methodology, theology comes from yoga, from the sutras and other texts as well. Um, so it's. It's work in terms of revisiting those to bring out the yogic aspects of them so that I can impart them in my students, to get me to the place where I can be that teacher that I aspire to be. So that's how I implement the AIM framework for me, outside of trying to be a good friend or have good relationships, another way I want to build a great business that changes lives. It's a big goal, right, but I'm aware, over the last few years, with the work that I've done, I'm aware of the work that really excites me and that I feel really makes a difference and that I want to keep doing until I drop dead one day, and that involves the yoga and the coaching. But in order to do that, I need to learn more about business, about marketing, about sales, about how I want to do that. So I'm aware of what the goal is and I'm intentional that each day, I'm going to get up and write something so I can improve my copywriting skills, in terms of marketing, in terms of the way that I communicate my message so that it's understood by the people, that I need to understand it, and I make a plan about the things that I need to do to get there. I mean, I want to write books, so therefore I need to again be writing daily to improve my writing. I need to be creating space for me to just think and be each day so that I can allow ideas to form and fall from sky. Um, you know, there's there's lots of aspects to the plan which I won't go into all of them here, but again, I just want to give you a flavor as to how I implement this framework in my own life, so that you can start to think of ways that you could use it in your own. So again, just to recap, the AIM framework is what's going to help you to win, to succeed in a way that works for you. Win to succeed in a way that works for you Awareness, intentionality, planning, be aware, set an intention, make a plan.

Speaker 1:

It's very easy to remind yourself of and that's why I try to make it as simple as possible Aim. You can remember that Awareness, intentionality, make a plan. I hope that this episode today has helped you to think a little bit differently, maybe about something that you're doing or you're about to do, and I'd love for you to try this framework in your own life. Whatever it is that you're doing, and let me know how it works for you. Does it work for you? What do you find helpful? What have you added on? What have you tweaked a little bit to make it work better for you?

Speaker 1:

I always love to hear your insights from what I share here because, look, I'm sharing from my experience, I'm sharing from work that I've done with my clients, things that I know that have worked for them. But we are all different, we are all unique and sometimes we just need that small tweak to make something more palatable to ourselves, to you, and this is why one-to-one coaching is really, really valuable because you are getting that unique, personalized insight into your own issue, your own problem or your own self-improvement, your own growth. And so, rather than feeling like you're taking in a lot of information and trying to figure out which bits work for you and which bits don't, you're actually getting a lot of information and trying to figure out which bits work for you and which bits don't. You're actually getting somebody there with you in real time, listening, seeing what it is that you're saying and responding to the specific things that you say and specific things that are coming up for you and there's a real power and value in that, and it also helps to, I guess, in some ways short circuit the process, the journey. Like I say, I'm the human GPS. So imagine going on a long journey without a GPS. You'd probably get to where you're going eventually, but you take many more wrong turns along the way than you would do if you had a GPS, and that's what coaching with me will do for you. So head to imryanspencecom slash apply and book your free strategy session, because you don't have the time to be getting lost in the wilderness while you figure out the way to get to where it is that you want to get to. You're busy. You've got too many other things going on, you've got too many people counting on you to be wasting time that you don't need to be wasting when you can have a guide to help you along the way. So I am Ryan Spencecom slash, apply and I'm looking forward to getting your application and getting on that strategy session with you and really changing the way that you see yourself and what's possible for you and what it means to be successful. Thank you for being here. I will see you again next week for another episode. Until then stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C Project. In the spirit of the Triple C, here's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcastcom. Slash triplec or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how this show can help them. Second thing you can do share. Share this episode. Share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three, head to IamRyanSpencecom. Get on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to my new book start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit.