The Triple C Project

The Importance of Purpose: How To Keep Going When You Feel No One Gives A...

• Ryan Spence • Season 2 • Episode 116

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Change is hard.

Stepping away from what's comfortable and stepping into the unknown brings up all the feelings.

Taking the first step is huge! But how do you keep moving forward, step after step, when you feel no one is listening or cares?

In this week's episode, I share candid stories about my own setbacks—from low engagement on social media to minimal sign-ups for my recent webinar and mini-course—and share 3 things that kept me going even when, some days, all I wanted to do was quit. 

This is a must-listen episode if you know something needs to change, but the fear of silence, crickets, and lack of support stops you.

You’ll find inspiration and practical tips on keeping going when the going gets tough.


What's your one takeway from this episode? Send a text & let me know

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Speaker 1:

And I've seen the vision of the life I want to live, and I'm committed to making that life a reality, and so, in order to do that, I need to keep going. You're listening to the Triple C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, ryan Spence, the Big Law Dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip-hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want, and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. What's up, peeps? Welcome to episode 116 of the Triple C Project Housekeeping first off. Rates and review this podcast. Told you I was going to talk about this more, right? But yeah, this is my regular, new regular ask to ask you to rate and review this podcast. If you're listening now, you, there's a reason you're listening. So why are you listening? What are you here for? What are you looking for? Why have you been listening? What do you get from this show? What should other people, what will other people get from listening to this? What's the benefits? What's the insights? Any answers to any of those questions makes a good review. So head to ratethispodcastcom, slash triple C, or just to the app that you're listening to now. Do it now. Hit the stars Five's good and write a sentence or two answering any of those questions that I've just posed to you, and I will be eternally grateful. That's the first thing. Something new for you New yoga class is incoming.

Speaker 1:

So I've been. I had a yoga link on my website for a while, but it wasn't really what I wanted. I needed to spend some time on really making it work, and this week I did that, and, if I say so myself, it looks pretty damn good. So if you head to irispencecom slash yoga, you can now see more clearly what's going on with me in my yoga world and the yoga teaching, and I have a new weekly online class available, which means, no matter where you are in the world, you can now practice yoga with me. How cool is that? So at the moment, you can only practice with me in person at my weekly class on a Sunday in the village of Havisage, near where I live here in the UK.

Speaker 1:

But now I am delivering a 45 minute class every Wednesday starting on the 2nd of October. 45 minutes so that it's at midday and it fits, squeezes, squarely into a lunch hour. If you're here in the UK, if you are in the US in Eastern time zone, it's the perfect addition to your morning routine for that day, and if you're in my previous home of Singapore, it's a great one to do just before you, just after you finish work and before you head for dinner. So that's 12pm, uk time. 45 minute yoga class and it's scheduled for an hour because I want there to be time to have a bit of chat at the beginning and a bit of chat at the end and to try and start to build a community, a weekly community that kind of gets together, does this practice, releases some tension, builds some strength, opens your mind and getting to know some people around the world who are probably in a similar position to you in the corporate world or in your life and kind of need this stress relief, this escape in the middle of your week. So, irisportscom, slash yoga, get all the deets there about what the class is about how to book the class, and I look forward to seeing you on the mat. And if you're looking for more flexibility, if that time doesn't work for you, if you're looking to accelerate your progress or just get some personalized support, that link will also give you details of my private yoga classes. You can book a consultation call and we can talk about what your yoga goals are and work on achieving them together through private sessions, which I've had private sessions before and yeah, it kind of really accelerates you, moves you forward a lot quicker than you think, and also it means you can do the shit that you want to do, which is beautiful, which is great. So I am ryan spencecom, slash yoga and, yeah, let me see you on the mat.

Speaker 1:

So this week's episode, as we're talking about yoga, is about dealing with disappointment, or the first title that I came up with is how do you keep going when you feel that nobody gives a fuck? Okay, it'll all become clear as we begin, but let's start with the yoga side. So last week the week before I'm recording this on my Instagram stories I put up a series of stories asking some questions about yoga, just trying to get a sense as to what I wanted to do with this class, this new class, the time I wanted to hold it and what sort of things people were looking for or would like to have, with a view to just kind of you know, getting some input so I could kind of give the people what they wanted. And you know what happened Nobody answered a single question. A couple of months ago, I launched a webinar. I talked about it on this podcast, actually and no one signed up for the webinar. And when I released my first book, the Triple C Method, back in 2022, I created a mini course to accompany the book, which is free if you pre-ordered the book. And then I made it available for sale thereafter for anyone who wanted to work through the course alongside the book. And you know what? Only three people signed up for the course.

Speaker 1:

Why am I telling you about all the shit that went wrong? There's a reason for this. I'm just picking out those three. There are plenty more. There's a whole host of things that I could talk about, but I'm telling you this because this is the reality of change. It's the reality of putting yourself out there, of doing things that you've never done before, you know, of pushing back against the norm and just taking the leap into the unknown. It's not pretty, it's not easy, it doesn't just fall into your lap, it's fucking hard and a lot of people just won't care. You will put your heart and soul into something, you will agonize over something and you will think that you've got the perfect thing that is right for you and you will put it out there and no one will care.

Speaker 1:

Now, four years ago, this is what terrified me, is really what held me back. The terror kept me stuck where I didn't want to be, because I was fearful of doing anything but what I was already doing. I was in big law, I was in a firm, a well-known firm, and staying there, as much as it wasn't working for me, was comfortable because I didn't really have to put my head above the parapet. I didn't really have to. I could above the parapet. I didn't really have to, I could just follow what everyone else was doing. Really, I didn't have to put myself out there and sort of push back against the norm, but it was killing me inside, it was crushing, it was sucking away at my soul, as I say in the opening chapter to my first book. And so there came a point where the soul sucking, was strong enough, was hurting enough, was crushing me enough that it began to almost rival the fear I had of putting myself out there.

Speaker 1:

So then I just had to do it, and that's why I'm sharing just some of the things that haven't necessarily worked out the way I wanted them to work out, because I don't want to paint a rosy picture of change, of growth, of trying to live the life that you want, because it isn't easy, it isn't pretty. How do you keep going? How did I keep going? I was speaking to someone recently a fellow yoga teacher, actually kind of something similar to this and I was talking about my plans to host retreats and workshops at some point in the future and they said to me you're brave because I can't put myself out there like that. And that stuck with me because they've been teaching longer than I have. I go to their classes, they're a great teacher, but they saw what I was planning to do as brave. I didn't feel it was something that they could do. This is something I see all the time Perfectly talented people with great ideas, with great skills, just holding themselves back from this fear, this fear of putting themselves out there, which is where I was there, which is where I was.

Speaker 1:

But the reason I keep showing up is this there's three key reasons, really, I guess. The first reason is that I saw the vision of the life I would be living if I'd stayed, and I knew I didn't want that. And I've seen the vision of the life I want to live and I'm committed to making that life a reality. And so, in order to do that, I need to keep going, I need to keep showing up. The second reason is that I'm deeply connected to my mission, my mission to help lawyers and corporate folk to not suffer in silence, like I did Not feel that they have to just survive through life, but believe that they can thrive, to show them that there is another way If you believe in yourself and you gain that clarity, that confidence and that courage and commit to the process. And as a third reason is that I know the value and impact of the work that I do. You know, even though it might be crickets, when I'm sharing certain things on social media and trying to get people on board with certain things that I'm doing or events that I'm hosting, they're still coaching clients that I work with who, together, we do great work, and sometimes it's not even clients.

Speaker 1:

I will get messages from silent lurkers who say nothing on any of my posts but will send me a DM and say I needed to hear that today. I'll get emails from former clients giving me updates on what's going on in their lives and they'll reiterate how much they value the work that we did together and how much coaching helped them. Just this morning, as I'm recording this, I exchanged messages with a former client of mine who I worked with years ago one of my first clients and they've I've seen this continued transformation from stressed out, depressed corporate exec in the tech world to where they are now, where they're on the verge of opening their own private fitness studio, which is just amazing. The place looks stunning and beautiful. This is down in Singapore. I had another message recently from a client a former client who told me I love this that they've actually bought copies of my first book for members of their team Because they loved how what the book did for them, how it made them feel some of the things that it got them to do and change in their own life, and they were looking forward to reading the new book and doing the same thing, and so our brains are wired to focus on the things that haven't gone well.

Speaker 1:

So it'd be very easy for me to look at the Instagram stories I put out last week and be like, oh, nobody's answered, nobody cares. What am I doing? I'm rubbish, I'm awful, what am I? I should just pan what I'm doing and go back to what I was doing before. Even though it made me miserable, I could think well, nobody was interested in this course that I created because I have nothing to say and nobody cares. I created because I have nothing to say and nobody cares. And I could quite easily take myself down that rabbit hole and end up just going back to where I was being terrified, being stuck with fear.

Speaker 1:

But, as I say in the triple C method, talking about confidence, what I always come back to is asking myself but where's the evidence? Where's the evidence that I can't do this, that I'm no good at this, that this isn't the path that I should be on? And the fact of the matter is there is not. There's greater evidence to support that I am on the right path, that what I'm doing is making a difference not only to my life, but to the lives of the people that I work with and the lives of the people that are touched by the things that I share, that I say that I do, and so what I want to share with you is the importance of having a mission, a purpose, having clarity on that, that, and then knowing and believing that people need you to keep going to fulfill that mission. Whatever that mission is and the mission doesn't have to be some grand plan to change the world it could just be changing something small within yourself or within the world around you, changing how you feel when you get up every day, getting rid of the Sunday scaries, being nicer to the people around you, to your family, to your kids, having more patience, feeling like you're making a different, a positive impact on the people around you, people in your local community, people in your workplace, people in your home.

Speaker 1:

Whatever that mission is, it's having one and being clear on that Then believing that people need you to keep going, even if the only person that you feel needs you to keep going is you, because you are the connecting factor. If you're well, if you're feeling excited and expired and happy and joyful, and you're bringing that joy and that energy around you. It's going to impact the people. The ripple effect as I talk about. It's going to impact the people, the ripple effect as I talk about. And how cool is it, how great is it going to be if, just by simply living and being you, you are creating this ripple of inspiration and of joy and of good energy and of aliveness around you.

Speaker 1:

Maybe that's it. Maybe that's it, maybe that's your mission, maybe that's what you do, maybe that's your version of living, life lit. And if you can find that and connect deeply with that, then it doesn't matter what other people do or don't do. It doesn't matter if your friends, who you thought had your back, don't support you, don't cheer you on, don't congratulate you on your latest venture. It doesn't matter if nobody responds to your posts on social media or signs up to your class or workshop on social media or signs up to your class or workshop. Because when you believe in your mission, when you are deeply connected to your purpose, you can't help but exude that from your very paws. And the people who believe, who are touched by that, they will find you, they will seek you out and they will just get it.

Speaker 1:

And it's not going to happen overnight. Look, I've been at this now for what four years or so, and I'd be fortunate that the work that I do has grown year on year, but it's still not where I want it to be. But if I hadn't pushed through and I didn't continue to push through the times where I feel that nobody cares, that nobody's listening or, as I said, that nobody gives a fuck, then I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't be doing the things that I do now, I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have now, I wouldn't receive the messages, the emails that I do now, I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have now, I wouldn't receive the messages, the emails that I receive now, I wouldn't work with the clients that I work with now.

Speaker 1:

So this episode is really just a rallying call, a pep talk, if you will, to keep going. And if you don't know why you need to keep going, then you need to dig deeper within and find what that mission is, what that purpose is, and connect with it. What's bigger? What are you fighting for that's bigger than yourself, that you will show up for no matter what, because, as I often find with clients, you can want something really bad, but it's easier to give up on that if you're just doing it for yourself. But if you have a reason that's bigger than you, a mission, a purpose that's bigger than you, then you're not going to want to let the other people down. You're not going to want to let that bigger mission fail. So you're likely to push harder and fight harder than you would have done if it was just for yourself.

Speaker 1:

This is why I always come back to my mantra of service over ego, because that's what keeps me going, that's what keeps me moving forward, even when I feel that no one is listening, that no one gives a fuck, and it served me well for now and I hope it continues to serve me for years and years to come. So I've got a lot of work to do. My mission is big, my vision of the life that I want to live is huge, and I don't plan on giving up now, and I hope you don't plan on giving up either. That's my pep talk for this week, and I would love to support you in finding your mission, in discovering your purpose, and then in creating your path to achieve that, to fulfill that, to live that, so that you don't give up when the going gets tough. Hit me up, hit me up, even not het, hit me up over at imrispencecom slash, apply and apply for that strategy session and let's talk, let's figure out. Okay, what is it that you want, what? Where is it you want to be? What is your mission? And how can we put in place a plan, a strategy and give you some tools to allow you to get up every day and take another step towards fulfilling that mission, towards fulfilling a purpose.

Speaker 1:

One thing I started doing with clients now is we have a session where we work on their purpose statement and I talk about purpose statement in my first book, the Triple C Method, and I share mine there, although it's evolved now and I love to send them, at the end of working together, um postcards with their purpose statement on them that they could keep around. So they are always, they always see, they're always confronted with it um, each day, so that they can always make sure that they can get back on track If they fall enough, if they're, if they're out of alignment with that purpose. Purpose is so important, mission is so important. I'd love to help you work on yours. So irispectscom slash, apply, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you and hopefully working with you. That's it for me this week and thank you for being here. I'm looking forward to reading your review.

Speaker 1:

Ratethispodcastcom. Slash CCC. And until I speak to you again next time, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life. Thanks for tuning in to the CCC Project. In the spirit of the CCC, here's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to RateThisPodcastcom. Slash tripleC or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how the show can help them. Second thing you can do share. Share this episode, share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three head to iamryanspencecom. Get on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to my new book start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit.